Within The Heat
I think this heat makes me a little bit delirious, but at least it’s got me thinking. Feat; summer themed images and a lot of babbling.
Yes, I’ve graduated. I finally put on the gown and sash to follow through with a ceremony that signified the end of my 14 years of schooling, before I head off to possibly three more years of higher education. During this time where my high school ‘career’ ended, I started to reflect on some of the years I spent at that school and what I have been doing with my time. It is difficult to do everything you want to do when you are restricted by the hours of school from 8:30 to 3 o’clock, but then again, there are going to be restrictions outside of school as well. Whether it’s work, family or something else, there’s always something that is going to be a rock (in a sense) to anyone, and that rock will ensure that you to float away into an abyss that could be your downfall.
What I’m trying to get at here is that I’ve noticed within my last few years of high school is that yes, I’ve been restricted by the school that has withheld six hours of my day for five days a week, but it was also something that gave me structure. The time without school as exams finished, had no structure, and now there is no security. As soon as my graduation was over, that was it, I no longer have the net of high school to fall back on, it’s all my decision now. And that’s scary. While at high school I chose to do other things outside of it, ten years worth of tae kwon do tournaments until year 10, having an actor career (which was put on hold for my final year of high school), doing photography, and even working on this blog had all occurred during this time. I’ve achieved a lot more than I thought I would, however this all began because of my need for a creative outlet. I loved doing subjects such as art and photography within school, even within the restrictions that I did have, I was still able to do my own thing, and I knew why I was doing it. School was the reason I did so many things, but now when I look at somethings, such as this blog, I wonder where I’m going with this, and when did I get off track?
When doing any of my photoshoots at school and working on my photography projects to be examined, I was constantly reminded where I was, where I needed to be and why I was doing things. I started this blog to share my creative talents, to have an outlet for dynamic/creative ideas, and to find others that related to that, and wanted to see more, however I seem to have somehow gone off track. I see that my blog is filled with posts such as ‘summer essentials’ or ‘7 this’ or ’10 ways to wear that’, and even ‘tag’ or ‘chain’ posts, similar to ‘chainmail’ as another type of post. These are the kind of things that I think work better for a youtube channel (for me personally), where you can show a person everything about what you’re talking about with more depth, as well as more of a connection with the viewer, rather than in a blog post, where it doesn’t feel like a connection entirely (again a personal opinion). I’m basically saying that I’ve just been repeating similar blog posts and blog post formats that I see all over the internet. There’s nothing really wrong with these particular posts; if you are a blogger or reader that likes these posts that’s fine, but it wasn’t really what I was wanting to do here, and I think that my lack of direction pulled me into that loop hole. I wanted to be more creative with what I posted on my blog. But as I saw them as popular posts, I began to do that. There are some of those posts that I am somewhat proud of since I put a lot of effort into them, but these posts weren’t what I wanted to do, I didn’t want to saturate the internet with the same thing. I wanted (and still want) to do a little bit more, just work a little bit harder, to make more creative and innovative projects for others to be able to see and enjoy. I realise that due to my lack of direction, I haven’t created something that I honestly believe in and want to share. Perhaps my more creative outlooks and long embellished paragraphs won’t be everyone’s favourite thing, and they might not grab everyone’s attention (especially since I keep using and, as well as brackets), I will at least be doing something that I feel more proud of, which I believe will bring myself, and my readers (you awesome people) closer together.
I’m seventeen, and I’m learning, we all are. I feel that this time in my life where I’m starting to recount everything that has occurred to try and make my next step is such an important element, that the majority of people will forget later in their life. I think that everyone has a time of reflection, usually more than once, and those times are later forgotten as we move on, but without moments of reflection, we would be stuck in a heated mess, with no where to go, running to of oxygen to help us carry on. I want to continue this blog in a similar way to this post, where I do spend a lot more time delving into my subject matter, creating longer posts on the subject at hand, and creating something different, instead of the same types of posts that other people do. None of my posts have been false, so to say, every post I’ve created, I’ve believed in, anything I’ve written about, I have believed in it, otherwise I would never of written it, but my reasons for writing have become blurry. I’ve barely had this blog of 5 or 6 months, which to me is rather impressive as I usually get bored rather easily in some of the things I do, but other people have had their blogs for years, creating something they are ultimately proud of. As I continue to learn, I’ll take you guys with me, I’m still trying to find my voice, but I am getting there. I continue to learn, and reflect as I continue on this journey, to create something that I know I’ll be proud of, that I can share with everyone. I tend to ramble a little bit, and I know this post isn’t entirely succinct, but that’s something I know I need to work on, but for now, this post is me, it is my thoughts, and it is what I want to share. I’ll continue on this pathway of creativity, within fashion, travel, photography, art and more. Within the heat, I have found my calm, finally.
THE LOOK: Bikini Top: Seafolly, Coat: Veronika Maine, Shorts: Seafolly
I don’t know why I think pairing summery images with a rambling post works, but in my head it does. I guess that I think they just counteract each other, or something like that.